Looking Up

Three weeks have gone by, and things are looking up.  My head still hurts, and things inside my skull are still scrambled, but the last two days have been better.  I have not shed a tear in three days.

The Flood

The flood of emotions that often accompany Post-concussion Syndrome (PCS) continue to ebb and flow in my brain: happy, sad, light, and dark.  I know it has only been two weeks, but I am growing weary of the symptoms:

Headaches

Dizziness

Fatigue

Irritability

Anxiety

Insomnia

Loss of concentration and memory

Noise and light sensitivity

The pain in the upper left half of my body, I will learn to live with that (I am having major doubts about the Titanium plate and 12 screws, but I will save that for another post).  The difficulty for me is having my brain go from a "high speed connection" to "dial-up modem" with just one bonk on the head.  The disconnect between obtaining sensory information, mentally sorting that information, then physically responding, seems so gigantically-enormously huge for me right now.  So far, this post probably sounds well written, and you may be wondering why I am complaining.  Well, being a perfectionist, I have put in nearly an hour of work and have one paragrapgh to show for my effort.  Then, thinking about the effort, I get really sad.

Then, I get happy again.  But, it is really hard.  I know.  Be patient.  This too shall pass.  One door closes and another opens.  Yes, I know all the answers to overcoming my PCS.  I watched this.  To get from trama to growth, I need four types of resilience: physical, mental, emotional, and social.  I am a lucky man, I have had plenty of all four my entire life.  And, I have a plan.  I am going to get some form of exercise today (no, not a bicycle ride).  I am going to finish analyzing pictures today for a report that is long overdue.  I am going to laugh again today with Lupine and Patty (last night we watched Elf).  And, I am going to race cyclocross next year.  I miss the social connections already, and it has only been two weeks.  I may not make the entire series, but I will be there.  It may be just a few races in Ogden, but I will be there.  I may be on the heavy steel fixed gear Pake, but I will be there.

How Quick It Can All Come Crashing Down

I know. I never update my blog, just my Facebook status. I need to remember to post here then provide a link on my Facebook page. Facebook has killed my blog. Facebook has killed everyone's website. Facebook is the Internet now.

So, here is an update. I had a pretty hard crash in a cyclocross race almost two weeks ago. Yes, I have a surgically repaired broken collar bone, bad ribs, mangled fingers, and a messed up head. The following is a re-post I wrote this morning to the Gainesville tt group. It is long winded, really self-indulgent, but therapeutic. Here goes:

My cross season is way done. I will miss the last three Utah races, the last two Idaho races (ID state championships), and nationals in Boulder, singlespeed and 45-49. Word of advice: never pre-register really early for races. The Florida Championships at the end of January are a possibility, but pointless at this point. Perhaps I'll show up just for the singlespeed race on the old 26 pound fixed gear Motobacon road bike wearing cutoffs, spd sandals, and tshirt.

At this point I have no desire to race ever again. If I do race again, I sure as hell don't want to bunny hop sets of barriers going full gas at 20 mph. What I want is to set up the Pake fixed-fixed and do some long but easy gravel road and easy trail rides. I want to just ride for fun.

Most of all, I want my headache to go away.

I'm pretty messed up. Right now I don't know if I can even do the big drive to get home to Florida before Christmas. I'm suffering from bad post concussion syndrome: fuzzy, headache, hard to focus, hard to put simple thoughts into actions, can not think of the right words, strange emotions, and just no energy or drive. And those words really don't describe it at all. Mostly there is a disconnection between thinking about/wanting to do something and having my brain be able to easily tell my body to do it. It is hard to explain. When it all seems dire, I just have to sit or lie down and close my eyes, stop the inputs for a bit, and then get back to it. Not always easy to do. Yesterday I tried to put a skewer into a customer's front wheel. I know it's the short one but my hands repeatedly tried to install a rear one. Too long, every time I tried. Somehow, bright lights and sounds affect the whole process. Strange, no? The hardest part is to be a smart, thinking person, who has always thought about everything, and now, all of a sudden, not be able to clearly do so.

The collar bone will heal. Been there done that, several times, but now I have a plate and a dozen Titanium skews. The fingers will get better too. I also have broken or bruised ribs on the left side of my chest under the clavicle. Of course I don't remember the crash or any part of it; I was out of it for at least an hour. But I think I went over so fast onto my shoulder and head that I never let go of the bars. One guy said I flipped like a coin onto my head. That's why the fingers are all popped. The bruise across my chest is from hitting the bar/stem with my hands still attached, perhaps. The left side of my helmet is gone. The back of my left shoulder still has big patch of road rash and is really sore. I see the Orthopedist again next week. He will look at the clavicle, which I don't think is quite right because of the intense shooting pain and the general ouch pain, and my fingers. I really don't want hand surgery. Thank you for reading my friends. Writing this has helped me. I will be home soon and see you all then. We can do a slow Fred ride on the rail trail.

Podium?

The Plan?

Jardine on Tuesday
Once again the plan was tossed
Exchanged for flat bars

Just like Monday's ride
Frost lingered in the shadows
And snow, higher up

Flatted coming down
Rolled for two miles on the rim
Hop Rising reward

Pisgah

I have not posted about a ride since the summer because most rides have been cross specific and regimented.  My cross season is not going well at all so today I just pedaled.  I drove down to Hyrum, parked the car, and headed up the steep-walled gravel Mt. Pisgah Road to the county line, back down the real Sardine Canyon to Mt. Sterling, then back down Mt. Pisgah Road (Baxter Hollow) to the car.  It was two hours of un-regimented lonly bliss.

The Hollow's steep walls
Shadows hold frost in the road
Even at mid-day.

Back To The Future

I know.  I have not posted in nearly two months.  I'll try to do better.  Give me some time.  My plan is to make the blog more of a ride journal.  Bike shop stuff will go to the Facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/RobertHamlinBicycles

Where The Money Went

Foundry and Marin bicycles were ordered last week and should be in the shop in just a few more days.  We will have more than 20 bicycles to choose from.  The Foundry bikes are all from last year so we are talking near wholesale prices.  The Marin bicycles are this year's closeouts, and will be priced near wholesale too.  Stay tuned.

New News

For the last two weeks, Robert Hamlin Bicycles has been open nearly every day.  Shop hours for the rest of the season will be Tuesday through Saturday 11 to 6.  Dan Galliher is my new partner making a full time bicycle shop a reality.  Look for plenty of other changes:  more space, less walls, Marin Bicycles, and even a new name and sign.  I vote for Robert and DanG.

And yes, I will try to keep the blog updated.  I have been on the bicycle quite a bit, but I have not had time to take pictures and write the words to tell about it.  Cross season is just ahead, so I will be out there riding.

Shop Time, Ride Time

We are back in Loganistan, waiting for Pat Benatar to arrive.  Hit me with your best shot.  The shop was open yesterday, is closed today, and will be open Friday and Saturday afternoons.  I rode twice yesterday, Green Canyon and Little Pyrenees.

Closed Until July.

We are still in Arizona.  I did not make it all the way from Idaho by bicycle, but my knees and back are feeling better.  I plan to ride at the Grand Canyon today. The shop will remain closed until the end of the month.

A Multi-Surface Mother's Day. The Long The Short Of It.

I rode from Logan to Mendon to Beaver Dam to Long Divide to Clarkston to Short Divide to Cutler Dam today.  Patty and Lupine met me at the end for a ride to Crystal Hot Springs.  Best Mother's Day ever.

The road to Long Divide, headed north.

Bottom of Long Divide.

Top of Long Divide, looking at Cache Valley.

Top of Short Divide, looking at north end of Cache Valley.

Lupine.

Dr. Cramer.

Open Today, 12:30 to 5:30

The shop has been open for the last two weeks.  The taxes are done.  Yes, I promised to post pictures from our spring break trip to the Waterpocket Fold.  And I will write an interesting blog post.  Later.  When I'm not so busy.  When the dishes, laundry, bicycle repairs, bills, ordering, sweeping, mopping, spring cleaning, data analysis, and first quarter report are done.  Right after my next bicycle ride is done.  Or after the next ride.

Shop Time

Spring break is over, so I will be back in the shop some this week.  As usual, call me first if you want to set up a specific time to meet because I will also be doing Montana work, taxes, and some saddle time.  I will post pictures from the Swell and the Fold soon.  Geology.

White Rim

I rode the White Rim with Tim Stack on Friday.  Ten hours and 101 miles pedaling the singlespeed on skinny tires in deep sand against a panoramic backdrop that filled my visual cortex, the ride was both brutal and wonderful.  It was strange, the ten hours felt like two, it went by so fast.  Then again, it felt like 20, because it was quite hard.  Who knows?  In that situation my body goes on automatic and my face looks tortured.

The deep sands of time
Hold my wheels, at a "sand" still
Layers orange, red, white

Closed Thursday And Friday

The White Rim calls.  I may be open on Saturday.

The End In Sight

The expected high yesterday was 35.  It may have been above freezing in town, but during my ride it felt much colder.  I pedaled up Smithfield Canyon to the gate and snow, and along the muddy lower Logan-Smithfield Canal.  A man walking the canal near the high school smiled, waved, and asked how I was doing.  I told him I was really cold.  He said, "The end is in sight."  I replied "Yes, but I just don't see it."

The shop will be open this week, Wednesday through Saturday in the afternoons, but it is still a good idea to call me first if you need me.

Spring In Utah

The sun is out.  The air is warm.  Everyone wants to visit their local bicycle shop and get back on their bicycles.  Right.

Spring

The snow pile in front of the shop melted today.  Here are a few melt dates from the past:

March 24, 2008
March 22, 2009
March 19, 2010
March 17, 2011
2012?  I wore shorts on March 23, so it was probably several days before that.

My early season orders are in and stocked.  The Redline Conquest cross bikes are gathering dust and looking for good homes.  The Redline d680 29ers are being assembled.  I will be ordering from Soma soon so get your requests in.  I will be open all week in the afternoons or by request.

Now Accepting Credit Cards

Big news.  For the first time ever in my seven years of selling bicycles, Robert Hamlin Bicycles will now accept credit cards.  Visa, Master Card, Discover, and American Express.

Southbound

I am working in Montana, and headed back tonight.  Robert Hamlin Bicycles will be open on Friday and Saturday, noon to five.  The Redline d680s should be ready for test riding.

That Ain't Workin'

I spent a little time in the shop today.  I should have gone for a ride instead.  Bicycle rides are painless.  While assembling a Foundry Auger, I bent over a little and could not get back up.  So much for getting my shots last week.  Bad discs, not SI joint.  That is the only conclusion now.  The Auger was to be my new geared bike.  Now, it is finally assembled and ready to go to a home.  I will never ride gears.  Below are Foundry pictures.  The bicycle is not dirty yet, it's brand spanking new.  Who wants it?

My Back

Headed to the hospital for a steroid shot in the back.  I'll be back on the bike in no time.  Right.

On another note, check this out, a stainless steel Soma Double Cross.  I would love to have a size run of these:

Daydreaming

A foot of new snow

But my mind is far away

CR 234

Out on Angle Road

Under live oaks, Spanish moss

Warm wind at my back

Back In The Shop

Robert Hamlin Bicycles was open this afternoon.  Yesterday I was at Soldier Summit, Utah and the day before I was in Yellowstone National Park.  It was good to get back to working on bicycles.  Today I did a few repairs, and then put a chainring tooth deep under my fingernail using this apparently harmless tool.


There really should be a better way to tighten chainring bolts, a way that prevents such bloody messes.  I wish all chainring bolts had hex openings on both sides, like FSA bolts.

I will try to be back in the shop tomorrow afternoon.  Regular hours should start again in March.  Until, then, call me if you need me and I can meet you at your convenience.

Broken Ice

I just went for a bike ride, my first in Cache Valley (for more than 15 minutes) since early December.  The sun was out, the air was clear, and the temperature was 7 degrees.  My toes were toast after only an hour or so.  Four rides in Florida, two in St. George, and nothing else since December 8.  How much fitness can one lose in eight weeks.  Don't answer that, I already know.

The Bear Necessities (not bicycle related)

Shop News

I will try to be open again real soon. The sun will come out, tomorrow. I just ordered a bunch of these. I will get them assembled ASAP. Wholesale price for the 2012 model!

http://www.redlinebicycles.com/archives/2012-d680

Things Done, Places Been, Photos Not Taken, In Reverse Chronological Order

Bitterroot Brew Pub Spice of Life Beaver Loganistan Angel Fire Taos Texas Louisiana Florida Felasco Salt Springs tt rides carpentry Santos Christmas in Jacksonville Mississippi Alabama Arkansas Taos Colorado UTCX awards party St. George last cross weekend.  There.  Blog updated!

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Facebook has killed my blog.