Growing Old

It seems my life has entered another stage.  Childhood, young adult, and the thirties are all well behind me.  As I've said before, I've watched my parents die and my child being born.  I've worked, lived, lost, gained, and loved.  Now, at 45, I feel like I have lived a full life.  The constant refrain in the back of my head of "what are you going to do with your life" is becoming much quieter these days.  At this point it just does not really matter what I'm going to do.  If we move to Portland some day, sure, I'll probably go to P.A. school.  Perhaps not.  I still have goals.  I still have a plan:  work hard at being a great spouse and father, and continue to work on Patty's projects.  And, do the dishes and laundry.

What about the bicycle?  I did a 4.5 hour long ride/hike/bushwhack with Greg and Heather yesterday on the cross bikes.  It felt fantastic to be up in the mountains.  I will never stop riding bicycles, but I'm sure not feeling very fast these days.  The pain in my back, knee, and left arm are constant.  Sometimes, going up Green Canyon with Greg and others, I don't even feel the need to reach the top first.  Sometimes.  I still plan on doing the cross races at the end of the year.  My dream is to go to them all with Lupine.  Her interest in bicycles and bicycle racing is limited.  Perhaps I've pushed too hard.  Daddy and daughter race days sure would be fun though.  If I focus on fun rather than fast, will it be enough?

I wonder if Lance Armstrong will begin to feel the same way soon.  Today he lost any hope of winning or even a high placing at this year's Tour of France, losing nearly 12 minutes.  He is old, almost 39.

I'm going to do the dishes now and put a load of laundry on the line.  Then I'll make a healthy lunch.  After that, I'll go for a long ride.  Growing Old.