Self: Hey, don't you want to grab a jacket and a poly-pro shirt and take it with you?
Self: Shut up. It's not that cold and the sun is shining.
Self: It's starting to graupel. And it really hurts. You are getting really cold. Why did you wear a cotton tshirt and cutoff 501s when it's only in the 60s?
Self: Shut up.
Self: Now it is hailing, there's two inches of ice on the trail, and your hands are so cold you can hardly ride your bicycle. Why are you on a greasy trail way up in the canyon on bald 34c tires? I bet you really wish you had your jacket.
Self: Shut up. Just keep pedaling and get the hell out of here.
Self: How many times does this have to happen before you learn your lesson? Don't you remember all the times this has happened before and you could have easily died? If anything goes wrong, you are dead. Really. If you die, does Patty know where you've hidden that roll of hundred dollar bills in your ____ next to the _____ under your _____?
Self: Shut up! Shut up! I'll be home in less than a half hour. Any adventure you live to tell about is worth doing. Oh my god am I cold. I wish I had my jacket.
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In your klean kanteen next to the 4 year old vodka under your sink.
ReplyDeleteTake a look at my 6/8/12 post and you find out where I keep the money.
ReplyDelete