I Miss Bozeman, Montana

Compiled from the local paper in Bozo:

•A man said his ex-friend dumped sand outside his door.
•A report of a faulty traffic signal at 19th Avenue and Main Street around 5:15 p.m. turned out to be one with “just a really long time between cycles.”
•Just after midnight, a man told police he threw a bottle at a wall on West Koch Street because “his dog was threatened.”
•A caller was concerned for the welfare of a mother duck and her ducklings in his yard on South 13th Avenue.
•A resident near Snapdragon Street complained that a dog runs loose in the neighborhood and “defecates wherever he wants.”
•The driver of a Jeep was stopped on Gallatin Road watching rafts on the river around 11:30 a.m. causing a “major traffic hazard,” according to the truck driver who called the sheriff's office.
•A caller reported that last week someone stole her Harley Davidson piggy bank, which was about half full. She has also noticed that her prescription is missing.
•Around 11:30 a.m. a caller said there was an issue with a baby moose and nearby cow on Bridger Canyon Road.
•Around 3 a.m., police warned a man on South Fourth Avenue cutting wood with a power saw and feeding it into a large fire about the noise.
•A vehicle got stuck on the railroad tracks at Frontage and Thorpe roads around 1:30 a.m. It was moved before a train came by.
•A caller said someone threw “poo” all over his porch on Mactavish Lane.
•A dead horse was reportedly on the Hebgen Lake shoreline near Hebgen Lake Road. It was almost completely submerged, and an eagle was feeding on it.
•911 dispatchers overheard a conversation involving “getting high and drunk and getting tattoos, sitting on the beach, and eating shrimp and crab" when an intoxicated man pocket dialed at 5 a.m.
•The owner of two dogs was apologetic and agreed to pay to replace five chickens the dogs had killed.