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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

How Quick It Can All Come Crashing Down

I know. I never update my blog, just my Facebook status. I need to remember to post here then provide a link on my Facebook page. Facebook has killed my blog. Facebook has killed everyone's website. Facebook is the Internet now.

So, here is an update. I had a pretty hard crash in a cyclocross race almost two weeks ago. Yes, I have a surgically repaired broken collar bone, bad ribs, mangled fingers, and a messed up head. The following is a re-post I wrote this morning to the Gainesville tt group. It is long winded, really self-indulgent, but therapeutic. Here goes:

My cross season is way done. I will miss the last three Utah races, the last two Idaho races (ID state championships), and nationals in Boulder, singlespeed and 45-49. Word of advice: never pre-register really early for races. The Florida Championships at the end of January are a possibility, but pointless at this point. Perhaps I'll show up just for the singlespeed race on the old 26 pound fixed gear Motobacon road bike wearing cutoffs, spd sandals, and tshirt.

At this point I have no desire to race ever again. If I do race again, I sure as hell don't want to bunny hop sets of barriers going full gas at 20 mph. What I want is to set up the Pake fixed-fixed and do some long but easy gravel road and easy trail rides. I want to just ride for fun.

Most of all, I want my headache to go away.

I'm pretty messed up. Right now I don't know if I can even do the big drive to get home to Florida before Christmas. I'm suffering from bad post concussion syndrome: fuzzy, headache, hard to focus, hard to put simple thoughts into actions, can not think of the right words, strange emotions, and just no energy or drive. And those words really don't describe it at all. Mostly there is a disconnection between thinking about/wanting to do something and having my brain be able to easily tell my body to do it. It is hard to explain. When it all seems dire, I just have to sit or lie down and close my eyes, stop the inputs for a bit, and then get back to it. Not always easy to do. Yesterday I tried to put a skewer into a customer's front wheel. I know it's the short one but my hands repeatedly tried to install a rear one. Too long, every time I tried. Somehow, bright lights and sounds affect the whole process. Strange, no? The hardest part is to be a smart, thinking person, who has always thought about everything, and now, all of a sudden, not be able to clearly do so.

The collar bone will heal. Been there done that, several times, but now I have a plate and a dozen Titanium skews. The fingers will get better too. I also have broken or bruised ribs on the left side of my chest under the clavicle. Of course I don't remember the crash or any part of it; I was out of it for at least an hour. But I think I went over so fast onto my shoulder and head that I never let go of the bars. One guy said I flipped like a coin onto my head. That's why the fingers are all popped. The bruise across my chest is from hitting the bar/stem with my hands still attached, perhaps. The left side of my helmet is gone. The back of my left shoulder still has big patch of road rash and is really sore. I see the Orthopedist again next week. He will look at the clavicle, which I don't think is quite right because of the intense shooting pain and the general ouch pain, and my fingers. I really don't want hand surgery. Thank you for reading my friends. Writing this has helped me. I will be home soon and see you all then. We can do a slow Fred ride on the rail trail.

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